Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
