This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
