lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
