I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
