what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
