Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
