stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
