So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
