U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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