Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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