Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
