It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
