So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
