Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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