Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
