I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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