Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
