I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize