I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
