Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
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Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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