You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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