You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize