so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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