This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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