So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
