she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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