nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
