I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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