I wish I only lived at night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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