Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
