I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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