I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
