question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
