we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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