My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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