vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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