I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
