Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
