I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
