She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
