I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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