I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
