We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
