if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
