we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
