I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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