I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
