from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
