im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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