We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
A+ Viking dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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