He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
