peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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