that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
