you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
