I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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