Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
