I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
