I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
