remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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