YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
