Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
