i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize