Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
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